Serious question for brides: what does a guest do if the bride doesn’t want anyone wearing white but a single mom can’t afford a new dress for her kid and the nicest dress her kid has is white?

No, this is not me. My child is not going to the wedding, and I’m married. It’s a coworker who has asked this question. Coworker is Megan and mutual friend is Gail. Fake names.

Gail is getting married (Megan and I used to work with this person until she got a new job last year). Megan has a 4 year old whose dad has never been in the picture.

Megan has told me she asked Gail if her daughter (Ann) can wear a white dress she wore as a flower girl at her brother’s wedding. Gail said no. Megan said she cannot afford another dress for Ann and it’s the nicest one she has. Gail has still said no. Megan asked if Gail can help pay for a new dress for Ann. Gail said no.

If it matters, because I know someone will ask, Gail’s family is basically loaded and they’re paying for the entire wedding. To give you an idea, Gail’s dress alone cost $4500 before alterations. I only know because someone asked her how much it was because it was so pretty (and it is, like I can barely afford to even look at it, that’s how pretty it is). Gail is usually quiet about her family’s money in terms of talking about it, but everyone knows she has a lot based tangible things. I disagree with Megan’s even asking for the bride to help pay for her daughter’s dress, but that’s why she asked.

Megan’s grand master plan is to show up with Ann in the white dress anyway because she doesn’t think Gail will say anything.

I think this is a bad idea because Gail is on the spectrum and has a thing will coordination and following rules. She is very black and white about everything. Again, I know this because when we worked together, Gail volunteered this information so we knew she wasn’t purposely being difficult but because sometimes she doesn’t understand when it’s okay to be flexible. Gail is never flexible about traditions, culture, or her basic religious beliefs.

I think this will -really- throw a wrench in Gail’s wedding and make her angry for two reasons: 1. Megan was already told no so she’s basically ignoring what the bride wants and 2. Being on the spectrum, it might make her more upset than the average regular smegular bride and she may not be able to handle it well.

I don’t know if I should tell Gail what Megan plans to do. Gail is getting married in a few weeks. Megan has asked me not to tell, so I feel like I’ve been put in the middle of this.

So I’m here asking brides how you would react if someone did this to you and if you have any solutions to this. If I post this on the relationship_advice sub, I know I won’t get very constructive answers.

Should I tell Gail? Is there a solution for Megan? All other colors are okay. Megan cannot afford a babysitter (her words). The dress code is formal wear. Megan has also said she wants to go because she never goes anywhere nice out and this would be nice so she has no intention of not going.