Visa process depression

I'm currently applying for my spouse visa married 2 weeks ago I'm in the UK on a fiance visa. And I have to say this whole process is so dehumanizing I just finished and payed for my visa application to book my biometrics appointment just to see another expensive fee. I feel like your having to give your blood first born child and everything to be able to be with the person you love. And I feel so bad and guilty not being able to work while I've been here it's just alot of nothing having your file on pause. Sorry I needed to vent I'm feeling really worthless and helpless atm.