It feels strange that I can't stop thinking about it

I spent almost my entire life suffering institutional abuse, being treated for severe mental illness from a very young age, and after 3 hospitalizations I was sent to wilderness at 16 and afterwards a RTC until right before my 18th birthday. No matter what, I can't stop my mind from revisiting all these memories. Random things will remind me. I feel like im always talking about it. In many ways I still feel like that suicidal 16 year old who got gooned to wilderness. And the fact that I'm so fixated on it / unable to move on frustrates me. I want to be something other than my trauma but sometimes it feels like that's all there is to me. And I feel like no matter what, people cannot understand it unless they went through it themselves. So, idk. I guess I just needed to vent that in a space where I know people would get it. And if someone feels similarly and has advice on how to cope with it, I'm all ears.