Threw food at my partner at breakfast
Super immature exchange between myself and my partner at breakfast. I'm livid with myself and totally get how fucked this is but I'm mad as hell and need to vent.
Been with my partner (M35) for 3 years. He has a daughter 9yo that we have 60/40 (40 for us). I'm very involved and for the most part am happy to be as long as he's considerate of my needs in the relationship. Emotional support, love etc it's still a work in progress but generally improving from where it was.
Context for this exchange: I was up at 6.30am yesterday to take my SD out for her new gymnastics class (which was 50mins away but her parents aren't taking her to any extra curricular currently), took her to a market for a treat and then dropped her off at friends. I then had my friend drop her son (7) off for a sleepover in the arvo while they went to a wedding. I cared for him while partner picked SD up from friends, I did dinner and managed their playtime getting along etc, did bedtimes and stayed up until lil man went to sleep. Lil man woke me up at 6am and I went out to let partner sleep because he has a job this morning.
Around 7.30am I was in the middle of cooking breaky for everyone and I went into our room to ask him to help me with the kids, he was chilling on his phone and didn't come out so I asked him again and he came out. I made him coffee, and cooked breaky for everyone, desperately needed to poo and I told him this. He proceeded to be annoyed with me because he didn't like my "tone" when I was managing everthing and needed him. I had the mildest of frustrated tones because God forbid I'm a little frustrated after v little sleep and he's just chilling while I'm overstimulated managing the kids and cooking eggs with literal shit threatening to explode out of me.
I asked him why he felt I deserved to be treated crappy for that and didn't deserve some compassion or understanding in that moment when it wasn't really personal and he said he's "acting like that because I am" and I gave him the whole "real immature" to do tit for tat speech. I then said "thanks for being a supportive partner" and then he said "you too". I fucking lost it, grabbed his eggs and threw them at him.
I know that's fucked up but wtf?! I just did all this shit for everyone and him and he couldn't even take over for 5 mins so I could take a shit. And then somehow in his fucking head, that's me not being a supportive partner.
Make that make fucking sense.
Anyway, I guess I'm wanting to vent, realise this is super toxic behaviour from both of us and ultimately I escalated it the most. But I'm fucking over having someone talk to me and treat me like this just because I'm the slightest bit frustrated in the moment in a way I think was rightfully so because I communicated everything I needed when I needed it and he thinks he has a fair reason to say I haven't been supportive.
ETA this is the same fucking dude that started talking to me about rings last night. Yeah, THAT ring. How do you go from thinking about THAT ring last night to treating me crappy because I was the TINIEST bit frustrated in the moment with the juggle, not really him and then he spits out the lack of support line. Like dude.