LOW ASSESSMENT TESTS SCORES
Hi guys,
This post is just for people who can relate to this. Reading this forum, I saw lots of people with 240s, 250s, I barely saw posts on people with similar issues like me, so please, I don't want any criticism and I'm not looking for advice or someone telling me to quit. Everyone's journey is different and even though I've had a terrible experience, I can say I'm a better person because of this.
I failed Step 1 in 2016. I was a total mess. I thought this was something I could do by myself. I needed help but for some reason, didn't ask for it and I wasn't around other students studying. My assessment tests were bad but I had been studying for pretty long and I was tired. I just wanted to move on. I worked hard and never took the test for granted, but I worked stupidly, I wasn't smart about it. I didn't think I was going to take the exam again until I traveled to the states for rotations and everyone around me was studying or had written and that motivated me to start studying.
I started studying again in 2017. Honestly, I can't really remember what that was like or what I was doing. I remember buying Kaplan Qbank (a year) and doing that and reading along side and doing rotations too. I bought USMLE Rx too.
2018, I had a study partner, it was a bit slow because we both had rotations, but we studied together whenever we could and that was when I realized that I lacked knowledge in so many areas. I mean, the idea was there, but I didn't understand the reason for the concepts I knew. My knowledge was just everywhere but I also knew that there was potential to improve. My assessment tests were not that encouraging either. I took a month off after my last elective to prepare for my exam. I took it on August 10th.
I thought the exam was fair. I had some pretty tough questions and I also had some really easy ones. My last 2 blocks were the hardest. I consciously tried my best to not get too tired. The 3 weeks wait period has been one of the hardest things of my entire life. More scary than the exam itself. I started to wonder if I was going to fail again, mistakes I made. I was scared to death.
My result came out today, I got a 222. It's not great, I know and I've failed before, so it's even harder, but I still feel very thankful to God. If I didn't pass, I honestly don't know what I would have done. This whole process has drained my life out. I've cried, doubted myself, thought about how it would be better if I didn't exist, thought about what a burden I am to my parents, thought about how I was beneath everyone else. But I can also say that this has been a life changing experience. I didn't realize I could read as much as I did, I didn't realize how much strength I had in me. I learnt to always ask for help when I need it. I learnt this process cannot be done alone. So I'm grateful.
A break down of my assessment scores.
- Step 1 - 180 (October, 2016)
- NBME 13 – 175 (August 24th, 2017)
- NBME 16 – 200 (January 27th, 2018)
- NBME 15 – 213 (March 30th, 2018)
- UWSA 1 – 198 (April 13th, 2018)
- NBME 17 – 211 (April 18, 2018)
- Offline NBME 12 – 76%
- Offline NBME 11 – 80%
- School’s NBME – 198 (May, 2018
- NBME 18 – 209 (June 11th, 2018)
- UWSA 2 – 217 (June 26th, 2018)
- Repeated NBME 13 - 205 (July, 2018)
- NBME 19 - 190 (3 weeks to my exam) - You cannot even imagine how I felt. I had some things going on in my life, but irrespective, it was still disheartening.
- Repeated NBME 16 - 215 (about 2 weeks out) - I wasn't going to postpone because at this point, it wasn't the knowledge that was lacking. My study partner would ask me questions and I would get, so I was confused about what to do. I was just going to leave the rest to God.
- Step 1 - 222 (10th August)
Like I said, this isn't your typical post. I hope I've been able to inspire someone.
PS: Sorry for the long post!