Can’t eat, can’t do anything with SA

I just moved into college a couple days ago, but I always feel so nervous all the damn time, or I’m always about to throw up or something. Even when just sitting in my dorm doing nothing. Classes are in 2 days and I’m supposed to meet my roommate at some point today, dreading both. I’m too nervous and embarrassed to explore campus by myself or try and find and check out any food halls. I feel too nervous to eat any of the food I have in my dorm. I haven’t eaten anything except a fucking apple and it’s 3 in the afternoon.

It literally took me a whole hour to walk out of my dorm and to the bathroom for a shower. I literally stood by the door preparing myself to walk out for an hour. I’m plus sized and think everyone is absolutely judging just for that. Anything wrong I do, i always think it’ll relay back to that. I sit in my room all fucking day. I have the lowest self worth and self esteem.

Why is living so fucking hard.