I want him back

My (16f) boyfriend? (19m) of 2 months wants to break up with me because I chatted with my ex as friends. I also sent him an inappropriate picture of myself to the ex while I was in the relationship. Another major reason is I went out for like 30mins (with one of my girlfriends) to see a friend of mine who came to visit without telling my boyfriend. He found out in a stupid way and is mad about me lying. Now to the problem, after numerous tried to break up with me and me crying hysterically to not do it, we agreed he would give me 1 month to prove the relationship is not lost and I can make him happy again. Yesterday he got mad at me for something really small (remembering when me and my ex got together but struggling to remember when me and him did) and he is sure he now wants me to stop all contact with him unless he reaches out first and after the 1 month agreement is over he can break up with me in peace. I have been feeling so ill these past few days, started doing sh and constantly be lightheaded on some local herbal antidepressants. I take like 10-15 a day. I want to end up in there hospital or atleast him to notice how hurt I am and how much I want him but I'm not sure if that will bring him back or push him even further. I'm not scared of any other consequences I just feel guilty and like I'm blackmailing him I just wish for him to trust me again. I can't think or do anything besides thinking about either him, pills or razor. I ordered some stronger meds today too and a gift for him. Should I have hope or try something different because I am NOT giving up on this guy don't even suggest it