Did he (34M) cheat on me? (29F)

Did he cheat on me?

Throwaway account so he can’t find me! I feel like I’m going crazy, I’ve been gaslit and lied to for three years over loads of things by him. The one thing that still ties me (29F) up in knots, is being told he (34M) cheated on me and he’s straight up lied about it. He deleted the messages between them so he couldn’t even prove that he didn’t and of course denies it (I found out because she told someone and one of my friends was in earshot and she told me).

When I confronted him about it, it was like he almost told me the truth and then backtracked thinking I would have an extreme reaction or do something incredibly impulsive.

All he cared about at the time was finding out who had told me. It was someone he used to sleep with years before so it would make sense if he had drifted back there at some point, he was never that intimate with me.

I found out about this in November 2023 and we had been together since September 2021.

Shortly after receiving this news I went for an STI check and was devastatingly diagnosed with genital warts :( from what I’ve been reading, they can lay dormant for years - but I’m just not buying that. I was never that irresponsible before I met him and my sexual partner before that was someone I’d been sleeping with for about five years.

We haven’t been together for a long time, but I’m really struggling with the fact that I have to get ongoing treatment and I just can’t understand where they came from. It really fucks with my mental health and has completely destroyed any sexual confidence I had left.

Is it really possible that it had been lying dormant for years? Or did he catch it when he cheated on me and gave it to me?

I can’t feel like this anymore I feel like I’m going crazy because I can’t find any logic in it, and I’ll never ever get the truth from him :(