i (33m) am struggling to forget about my girlfriends (35f) bodycount. what can i do?
long story short - its a wonderful relationship. i feel we are in a good place 6 months in. but there is one thing that keeps nagging at me, and i get a weird physical reaction/discomfort when i think about it. she mentioned one time that she had slept with a lot of guys. curious, i asked her to quantify vaguely. she said she didn't know. so i said well at this point a ballpark could be helpful. she said she still didn't know, so i said ok well look mine is around 50 girls if that's helpful. perhaps you can just give a vague range if you want. at this point i am quite curious and i let it get the better of me by asking/prying, when i should have just respected that her saying i dont know was probably more her not wanting to say. anyway she eventually said i don't know, could be hundred, or maybe two or three hundred guys. i was pretty shocked. obviously. this is more than literally anyone i ever know. and the range is just wild. like, the difference between one or two hundred is literally every person you ever slept with all over again. since that weird chat, and us drawing a line under it, i sometimes think about it (mainly when something/someone else brings it up - e.g. i just watched a show and the girl is outraged that the guy has slept with nearly 100 girls). i get this weird panicky feeling, like this is some red flag. i dont think she will cheat on me, she seems very faithful. but the lack of clarity about a number (or range) and the sheer amount, seems to alarm me. everything else is really lovely and shes so sweet. but i feel like when we have an argument or issue and i am mad at her, or her at me, this may rear its head. i wonder how i can try and resolve this? she is quite bohemian and super liberal, perhaps i am a bit more conservative. i have also had more (and longer) relationships, whereas she has been single more frequently for longer periods. i know the obvious answer is "if you love her you'll get over it" - but i'm not worried about it in our good times, just when things get tough, will i dwell on that? I guess that's a me problem.