I sometimes hate consuming islamic content

Everytime I go on youtube or other social medias I'm being confronted with diffrent perspectives of our faith. And alot of times I can't relate with the content. To be exact, it's not just that I can't relate to it but I often begin to feel really bad because I starting to overthink that that's who I'm supposed be in order to get closer to Allah or to be a "real" muslim. I actually feel like an imposter sometimes. It's gotten to the point, where I don't even like to attend lectures in mosques (even friday kutbas). I feel so bad all the time because I constantly think that I'm failing to be a muslim. But the fact that I hate consuming something that should get me closer to Allah is also extremely daunting