Lost, Unemployed, and Trapped at Home: Need Advice

I’m a 27-year-old (Male) living in a joint family in a house built by my late father, along with 10 other family members in a village. My father and grandfather were very conservative and didn’t allow me (Male Child) to attend college in a metro city, even though I had good grades and a promising future. Instead, I had to enroll in a local college where very few people achieve significant success, and I wasn’t one of them. After graduating, I felt lost and aimless, spending two years in depression without any direction.

Eventually, I decided to prepare for government exams, as that’s the usual path people take here after graduation. But then COVID hit, and during that time, I lost my grandfather, grandmother, and father. This deepened the existing cracks in the family. Right now, I live off my mother’s pension, and I have no say in family matters. My two uncles and my mother make all the decisions regarding the house and land. It feels like I don't exist. My mother mentally abuses me every day, and while I don’t think she does it intentionally, it’s just part of her nature.

Every day, I dream of leaving this house and building a life elsewhere, but I’m unemployed, and the only way I can do that is by securing a government job (I don't have any other options here). Unfortunately, competition is tough, and I’ve missed out on the final selection by just a few marks in some exams. I know I need to work harder to succeed, but the constant negativity, mental abuse, and my own struggles with depression and frustration prevent me from fully committing to studying.

Meanwhile, I see my classmates getting married, going on vacations, or settling in metro cities, which only adds to my frustration. All I want is to escape this situation and become financially independent so I can leave this toxic environment. But I don’t see any hope, and I constantly feel like it’s too late for me.