Life is not fair

Life is not fair

Oh man , am I gonna regret this .

So I am in my 2nd year of college and I am currently in a big city , I come from a small place with not many amenities , my father is a shopkeeper and when I came here I was pretty gaslighted by the culture but slowly I started being accustomed to it and also got indulged in it .

I liked a girl who was in same hostel as me ( were divided by a floor) , but never confessed , she had a boyfriend from senior year but he was toxic and so i and another friend of ours did our best to help and and she left him , later on she told me she isn't looking to date anyone and just wants to enjoy , but how would u have it , she started dating the other friend who helped alongside me just 1 month later , I still like her .

The other friend's brother was getting married and so here invited me and the girl as well , I was hesitant at first to go but he insisted so I went , their the girl and the boys slept in same room and oh man was it like a dagger through my chest , I mean sure I get it and I thought I was over it but well it hurt

Later on our friend group got dismantled cause of conflicts and I was left alone with the couple and although I know they both care for me I can't help but feel alone and like a bug .

It's not like I am desperate for a special person but everywhere I look into my class I see couples and here I am typing here lol.

I guess what hurts even more is that the other friend (I have no grudge against him) is somewhat of a shower and so people know what he has done for them but I just stay silent so no one asks about me and he gets the limelight .

My father is getting old andeven if he doesn't show it I know , my uncle said " without you , your father gets alone" and that hit me so hard , I want to go back to my father but also want to follow my dreams .

I guess what I wanted to say was life is not fair for everyone , and yes I know people have it much worse but this was mine .

Hoping I will overcome this.