New Grad - Is all of nursing like this?

TLDR; my experience with nursing has made me the worst version of myself I’ve ever been. I’m a functioning alcoholic at this point, cynical with the worst outlook on life/the human race as ever. I wish I was an accountant. Or a marketing major. Or a bum. Or a barista, where the worst decision I could make is a wrong coffee order or a typo on a spreadsheet.

This is my 9th month as a nurse. In the ED. I wanted to be a nurse in the ED since before I even got accepted to my nursing program. 9 months in and this job has made me the unhappiest I’ve ever been. I can’t seem to have one good day. It got really bad about a month off of orientation to the point where I truly was SI and could have checked myself in for it. I hate being the intake department for every patient. I hate the fact that 99 percent of my patients aren’t ambulatory. I hate the fact that all it takes is one moment of me not consistently monitoring my patients means that I could miss something important & potentially cost my patient dearly. I hate that any lapse in judgement could mean decline of a patient. I hate that every single person who comes in as psych is in acute crisis. I hate getting people sent in from nursing homes for what seems like staff just not wanting to deal with them. I hate that people think I’m a turkey sandwich dispenser. I hate being the drunk tank warden.

I LOVE working nights. I LOVE my psych patients that we are able to settle from acute crisis.

Don’t know. Makes me want to just work 3rd at a factory.