Burn out

Man I'm so burnt out, my bubs is 2 months tomorrow and it feels like a life time already lmao like how does it feel like she was always there? She has good days, she has bad days and a bit of both days, but I don't feel like I fully recover from the bad days and it's sorta just built up and I'm sooo freaking tired. Like I'm not tired as in I'm sleep deprived, she only wakes up twice in the night, and sometimes even sleeps through depending on when her last feed of the day is, im just mentally and physically knackered. It's getting harder to drag myself awake to feed her in the night and I try put it off a bit by giving her, her dummy just to get an 5 extra minutes but it's never enough.

I'm single, I can't take shifts, I live with my brother and sil but they have 2 boys that are already a handful. They'll hold her and entertain her when I need to go pee, or wash her stuff or just general housekeeping, and they'll help settle her if everything I've done hasn't worked. But I can't and don't expect them to take care of her while I go sleep. Not that it'd work anyway, we live in a flat, so all rooms are on one floor and I'd hear her and just be anxious the whole time and the boys are quite boisterous so I'm nervous about them being around her for long periods of time without me there.

The only people I trust to look after her for long periods of time is my mum and dad but their whole household seems to have taken turns being ill the last few weeks, so I've not really even been able to visit them much.

I love my daughter with my entire being, her smile lights up my world, and her little sleepy giggle makes it all worth it, but God I just need a little break.

No advice needed, nor am I really complaining, just a little vent is all 🙏