Anyone successfully stop being crazy?

Hi everyone

So I have been divorced once after 16 years with my ex. I am now remarried with a baby.

I have an issue that every time we get into an argument and it’s heated (which is almost weekly), I threaten divorce, I block him and change my social media, I get so upset.

Has anyone successfully changed this pattern of behavior? What did you do to change it?

We will come back together, apologize, forgive…

I have hurt and am scared after being divorced and he’s the same. He can be insecure about my past, lash out at me, I’ll lash back out bc his past is the same and he can’t throw stones.

I feel like he wants to be a stick in the mud and like a dictator and controlling, and like the only way I get him to compromise is threatening I can do it alone.

I feel resentment bc of things he’s said and done in the past, and let me tell you I’m not innocent!

We’re going to look into marriage counseling and communication, I just wish I could calmly discuss problems with him, not get heated and attack when I feel he has attacked me. I wish I didn’t get so angry and want to prove my point.

I wish I wasn’t so independent and ready to prove I can be.

What steps has anyone, either you or your partner, taken to improve this behavior?

Thanks!!