Groundhog dissatisfaction

It's 7 degrees outside in Massachusetts, this morning. I feel like if I go back out there I will freeze solid, and break into a million pieces, like a fucked up winter version of a Wicked Witch in Munchkin Land. The Wicked Witch of the South...instead of melting, I shatter into pieces and it snows 🧙🥶🤯💥❄️. I think I need to sacrifice a groundhog or something. Throw that fucker in a bon fire and see what he has to say about his shadow then! In full fucking hibernation mode, at this point. (Grumble gumble six more weeks, grumble gumble).