Boyfriend can’t get/ stay hard

Hi everyone, I’m new to the sub and learning about PA.

I 21F have been with my boyfriend 24M for about 10 months now. We’re long distance and see each other every 2-4 weeks. Also relevant info: he’s my first sexual partner and he was single for a few years before me.

When we first started getting intimate I noticed he had a really hard time getting and maintaining an erection. Getting hard and finishing was only possible if he manually did it by hand. He told me it was nerves/ performance anxiety and it may take him some time to get comfortable with me which I was fine with, I tried not to put pressure on it. Sex wasn’t a huge deal and I was happy just spending time with him. I told him that.

Our first time having sex took ALOT of trial and error and it kind of happened unintentionally after we had both given up and were just cuddling.

What threw me off is that he said he masturbates every day, sometimes even more than once. After this point I did some research and suspected he may have a porn or masturbation (death grip) addiction and asked him about it.

He admit that he had been addicted to porn in the past however he had heavily wound this down. But he admit that the porn use has impacted the way he views sex and may be causing the issue. He agreed to quit and of his own volition started seeing a therapist who specializes with this issue.

I’ve been trying to give him time and the problem seems to have improve somewhat. Although he still has a difficult time getting hard (usually needs to jerk off by hand) we are able to have sex but sometimes he’ll lose his erection literally while inside me. He also keeps his eyes close (even when I’m going down on him) and seems to preform better when I’m turned around. We’ve tried lube and toys.

I’m trying to be patient and keep the pressure off him as much as possible. However this is REALLY taking a toll on my self esteem and I’m often left wondering if he’s even attracted to me at all or why I’m not enough or what else he’s possibly imagining to get/ stay hard. I haven’t mentioned this to him because I don’t want to increase the pressure on him.

Also, like I said this is my fist sexual partner and the experience hasn’t once been pleasurable for me. It’s actually become quite painful for me physically at this point because I’m no longer getting turned on by the experience and am in my head. I’m just focused on helping him stay hard.

I’m not sure if I can trust that he’s quit porn. It drives me crazy thinking he may be unable to preform with me but has no problem getting off to strangers online or is maybe imagining them while we’re in bed.

How can I help him?

How should I approach the topic with him again? Would telling him how I feel just make the situation worse?

When/ should I call it quits on the relationship?

Just looking for advice or perspective, I guess.