A Devotion

I’ve never been the greatest at devoting myself to someone full force. I’ll admit it, not so good at commitment, I struggle with faithfulness. I’m a wild card, unstable with a whole ass storage unit of mental health issues.
I am aware these are red flags, I know I’m unfit, it’s not fair to put someone through inevitable hell just because of a mutual attraction. And as awful as a partner that I am I think this awareness is progress, even if it’s just a tiny little step.
But fuckkkkkk me, I can’t HELP IT. I think you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.

Everything about you screams perfection, just looking at you is like a dopamine shot directly to my eyes. It’s like a lightning strike to my brain. I truly feel like you could be everything I’ve ever wanted and more.
Nobody’s perfect. NoBOdY’s PerFeCt. Yeah yeah, ok WHATEVER. If I could define the word I would copy and paste a portrait of you in the dictionary. You’re intelligent and sweet on top of everything else but I know you are NOT MINE TO KEEP. NOT MINE.
Never will be mine to keep.
Because what you deserve is the world, everything that’s good and clean and beautiful. You deserve unquestioned happiness, no doubts no worries just pure LOVE. You deserve a commitment that rivals the greatest romances of all times. Someone that can take care of you, someone to hold you. You deserve someone who will be affectionate and supportive at all times, even the bad. You deserve someone who can show you their true selves, without fail. You deserve the sun, moon, stars and sky.
Damn, I mean it.
You deserve the UNIVERSE, and more.
But what it comes down to is that I know I could never truly deserve YOU. You’re out of my league, I could never even dream of being on your level.
And honestly baby, I never want to be the one to destroy the most amazing man on this planet.
So, I’ve made the decision to love you from afar.