Does anyone have ADHD and struggle with abusing marijuana?

I feel like the reason why weed was such a crutch for me is because it’s the only time I can shut off my own brain and go into deep relaxation mode. I mean the feeling of actually focusing on a YouTube video and not thinking about the million reasons why I hate my life or myself is a thing. I’m currently over 100 days sober and I’m starting to feel so bad. I feel so bored and yet at the same time bombarded with intrusive thoughts. It’s exhausting how distracting it is. It’s taking everything in me to not relapse.