Do I have an Asian fetish?

I’m 23yo F and currently living back in my home city (Madrid, Spain). The last 5 years I was living abroad in many different cities, such as Sevilla and Berlin for example. Tbh, I think people are pretty receptive in Berlin. It’s a multicultural city and even if u aren’t gonna have the most committed relationship (DISCLAIMER ‼️: when I use this word I don’t refer only to be boyfriend/girlfriend, more like any type of friendship/relationship), people is very friendly and always try to have some contact with others.

I made friends mostly with Asian people: Pakistani, japanese, Indian, etc… And I learnt they are the most respectful with me, care about me and also funny and gentle.

Since I came back to my home city, I’m trying to make these kind of friends. I realized how lonely I feel here —left everything that I build in other place bc I thought how easily it would be to make new connections. And I was totally wrong. Here in Madrid, even if u can find people from other countries (MOSTLY CHINESE), u can tell e-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y doesn’t want to include new people in their circles / people that it’s not presented by a really really closed one. I like dancing, I tried to make friends with some and got: nothing. I like kpop, I tried to make friends with people that also likes it and got: nothing.

So since I really like Chinese culture (I studied about it, tried to be respectful with them), I decided that it will be nice to meet some. It my mind it sounds good, bc I get to now more about their culture and also, I can create a respectful connection with people that are foreigners as I was (and I actually still feel even if it’s supposed to be “my city”).

Long story short, I decided to download Meeff but everybody just wants to 👌🏻👈🏻💦. Changed to Tantan, but only meet people living in Paris, China, etc. I think right now, I really need these cultural exchange AND also go out of my house, that’s what I’m looking for: having someone to go for a city walk, talk a lot / be in silence doing our own stuff, and enjoy time together.

But yesterday, while I was celebrating Chinese new year with my two female close friends, I found myself trying to justify to them why I am in Tantan. And started to overthink about this topic. I’m even so ashamed didn’t told anybody close to me, just them.

Someone have some tips for me or smt that wants to share? :( Or if someone lives abroad, idk being friends if they are coming soon here! I just want friendships.

👁️: it’s my first time posting in Reddit !