Being a man is exhausting

I know some of you might have already decided to be irked at the title. Just because I am saying that being a man is exhausting doesn't mean that women have it any good in society. Again. Talking about mens issues does not mean that womens issues are lesser or easier to navigate. There needs to be space for everybody to express their pain without it being compared to another group or persons pain.

The older you grow the more is expected out of you. A man is supposed to give. A man is supposed to provide. These ideas have been drilled into me so hard I have to fight against myself just to do things I enjoy doing without feeling guilty.

Going out with your partner? You better plan, take responsibility, get there, pay - everything. I know its different case by case but in my life personally - women paying or taking me out has been a 'speciality' rather than default. Even if it doesn't happen - the subtle inner responsibility is still there. We feel this constant pressure to make more money, do more things and if we don't somehow we are lesser. Constant comparison. We don't have the 'option' to work in society - we HAVE to. No matter what. All of this breeds inner toxicity and anger - if you recognise it and work to unlearn it. Great. If you don't (you should) that will make you a shitty person (something we all should avoid being).

I'm not saying I don't love being in the masculine. I love seeing people who depend on me happy. I love doing my best for my partner. I love giving her gifts. I am just saying that its also emotionally draining sometimes when men don't 'get' proportionate to what they are expected to give. I am not reliant on anybody - emotionally or physically or financially because I am supposed to be the one people rely on. You can love doing something but at the same time have moments where you feel very exhausted by it.

Please try to look at my rant as mine only. I'm not trying to say this is how it is across the board. There are examples where women have to do more. There are examples where men are bums and they don't lead their lives this particular way. Unfortunately, none of this negates what I said too. Sorry I couldn't share all of this with my friend or partner. There isn't that much new gen social space for men to address their pain without there being a lot of stigma (subtle or otherwise) attached to it. Sorry if I pissed someone off.