Help me

I've watched h3 since it's inception basically and it's brought me much joy over the years. i've never posted on this subreddit or any subreddit for that matter, but I feel compeled to tonight. I havent even commented on youtube, but I'm seriously in the darkest place I've ever been and don't know where to turn to. I feel extremely embarrassed even posting this, but I just need some encouraging words or something. I've never wanted to give up more than I do right now in this moment. I feel a soul crushing level of loneliness and I'm afraid it's never going to go away