I’m stuck

Throwaway account for obvious reasons, but I’ve been in a state of misery for months. Just to backtrack: when I was in elementary school, I had this tutor. She was also a teacher where I studied (I’m a girl), and I had a huge crush on her. A few years passed, and now I’m 16. During the summer, we started talking again. I thought we were just reconnecting as friends (in my country, it’s quite normal for students and teachers to hang out and be friendly), but she told me she liked me. I didn’t think it was that serious, but I really liked her.

A few days later, she came to my house and kissed me. I was completely shocked. A few weeks passed, and before I knew it, we were making out in my childhood bedroom, and I lost my virginity to her. ☹️ I’ve never been more ashamed or betrayed in my entire life. (She also had a girlfriend the entire time. I’m a terrible person because I knew she had one.) We snuck around for months. She would sneak into my house at night, and we did it multiple times. I would spend hours on the phone with her. She told me she wanted to grow old with me, get married, and live together.

Now, even though I know it’s so wrong, I miss it so much. Long story short, my grades faltered during the first semester because I was completely drained from the “relationship.” We weren’t even officially together. She left me because I didn’t have high grades, lmao. I cried every night for months.

I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared, ashamed, and humiliated that I gave myself to someone like that. I can’t go to the cops because: 1. They wouldn’t believe me. Our country is very corrupt 2. She knows so many people 3. Kicked out of school because of the scandal

Fuck idk what to doooooo!! ☹️☹️☹️