A poem I wrote about being groomed.

I wrote this awhile ago when I was trying to figure out how to cope, it honestly didn’t help much but I haven’t shared it with anyone. Maybe some of you can relate. —

I live in walls no one can touch, A prison built by love turned much Too dark, too cruel, too stained with lies A father’s hands, a child’s cries.

He said it was ours, a secret to keep, A bond that would haunt my every sleep. His words were gentle, his touch disguised, A twisted love in a father’s eyes.

Even now, I feel him there, In shadows cast, in empty air. I flinch at nothing, gasp for breath, Reliving moments worse than death.

Flashbacks strike without a sound, Dragging me where I was bound. The room, the voice, the sick disguise, The weight of his touch, the trust that dies.

How do you heal what’s never whole? How do you quiet a screaming soul? I reach for light, but shadows stay, A heavy weight I bear each day.

Ptsd is the warden’s key, Turning memory into agony. He taught me silence, he taught me fear, And stole the years I held most dear.

His hands still haunt me, they always will, A phantom grip I cannot kill. The world outside would never see The prison he built inside of me.

I wear the mask, I play my part, But his shadow still grips my heart. A lifetime drowning, I cannot flee, Trapped in a prison no one can see.

How do you heal when the scars aren’t shown? When the ache is yours and yours alone? In stolen moments, he held the key, To lock away the child in me.

And so I drift, a captive still, Bound by his touch, against my will. No justice, no peace, just endless pain, A storm that falls like ceaseless rain.