Why do I just not feel anything

I’ve been free. Not even like 2 months ago I was stuck in a loop crying, screaming for help and for someone to get rid of the parasite of an abuser out of my brain but now I just don’t feel anything, I don’t know how to feel about him. I feel awful about him but my brain is just like saying he’s a good person and I forgot what he did, I have to read old post just to know what happened. I just know I’ll be having flashbacks again but for now it’s just idk…apathy maybe?