The Ultimate Comprehensive In-Depth Distractible Episode Review (Day 1)
I’ve been listening to Distractible almost daily for around 4 years now and I kinda just want to give my own thoughts and feelings about each episode and discuss with others about their thoughts and feelings about each episode.
Just gonna re-listen to every distractible episode starting with Hair and going all the way to current day. I don’t have a set amount of episodes I’m doing a day and I don’t have set days I’ll go through each episode, so apologies if I miss a day.
I’ll list each episode in numerical order giving each episode a number ranking (on a scale of 1-10) AND a letter ranking (as if it’s on a tier list on a scale of F-S) while also giving a brief summary of how I felt and why I ranked it the way I did.
Just for full transparency:
F = 0-4.5/10 D = 5-6.5/10 C = 7-7.5/10 B = 8-8.5/10 A = 9-9.5/10 S = 10/10
I only work in 0.5 increments for simplicity sake. I do it like that so I don’t have to worry about rounding up or down. A 7.5/10 could either mean barely better than a 7/10 but not quite 8/10 or just being barely worse than an 8/10 but not worse enough to be a 7/10. The placement of each ranking in the tier list will be based on this rating scale and will completely be up to subjective feeling.
I will not talk about the points-giving or recap the points given mainly because I don’t care enough to try to keep track of it. I will only mention a co-host’s winning when I feel someone either lost or won unfairly.
All of what I am reviewing and ranking is completely my own subjective opinion, feel free to disagree and comment about how you feel about the episode and hopefully we can have nice peaceful productive conversations about the greatest podcast to ever podcast.
Episode 1: Hair
Rank: 7/10
Tier Rank: C
I mean, it’s the first episode. It’s the first episode I listened to. God, I remember exactly where I was when I listened to Distractable for the first time. It was my senior year while I was working at my part-time retail job (where Distractable became the only way I could dissociate enough to get through the day-to-day tasks) that I worked at for 3 years. There are some awkward silent moments that don’t take away from the episode but adds to the charm of the earlier episodes. It surprised me how quiet this episode can feel at times while also enamored by how in-depth some of the sound design is. Makes sense since there is no video to watch (not that I usually actually watch the current episodes anyway) but it’s still interesting to see how they used to do it. I do also have to mention how some of the old ads are ingrained into the episodes themselves preserving some of the funniest podcast ads I’ve ever heard. They also have regular Spotify ads on top of the ads in the episode so it is a little annoying having to sit through 2 sets of ads but, like I said before, it kinda adds to the charm. Kinda makes me miss the simpler times. I don’t really come back to this episode because of the topic, but I always laugh at Wade’s “Dude! Can’t wait to change scalps with you, dude!”, and love the talks about the teratomas, pubiaries and Herm statues. Not the best first episode to ever be created but a first episode nonetheless. Still waiting for the Distractible Herms merch.
Episode 2: Body Odor
Rank: 7.5/10
Tier Rank: C
Of course only someone as hugely penised and enormously testicled as Mark could be the first Distractible winner! It at least gives him something to brag about (which I bet he does in future episodes). God, remember when they titled shit? Strange time we be in. A part of me is kinda glad they don’t do it anymore (some of the titles are just so cringe it hurts) but a part of me misses them. Trying to visualize Bob’s Axe Body Spray ferrets are absolutely terrifying and Wade’s “enhanced” corpse filled ferret system is even worse. Wade’s 6th sense always gets a chuckle outta me. I am under the opinion that they should’ve changed the Distractible logo long ago. The terroristic parachuting stink clowns are such an early iconic bit it baffles be how they’re not on the logo. I miss when Wade was his own worst competitor begging for his points to be taken away. I have to thank Distractible for being the reason I know the “gay bomb” was at least something that was proposed for war. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the episode titled “Body Odor” talked about farts to an extent but man do they talk about liking their own farts for longer than o remember they did. Those one-liners did suck tho. Not an episode I come back to often, but it is a good progression from the first.
Episode 3: Transportation
Ranking: 8.5/10
Tier Rank: B
Man, this episode opens strong! Opens with a Wade self deprecating banger. Love talking about those dadless freaks (couldn’t be me). I love how Wade actually forgot BBC Wade and to my recent memory never did BBC Wade on the podcast since. Oh yes, Marks wonderful intros. SONIC CUM DIMENSION MENTIONED, LET’S GOOO (I love this bit). God, Mark really has been talking about filming something this entire time. They were still FILMING The Edge of Sleep during this episode. Wade STILL doesn’t have a car. The information superhugway was a terrifying yet amazing idea that I’m disappointed in humanity that it isn’t a real thing. I quote Wade’s “Sir… there’s 5 hearts and no penis…” more than I’d like to admit. Funline Airlines is cool concept, sucks that Mark stole it from himself. That 5-point reduction to Wade was completely unfair 😤. Wade really is the creative thinker of the group. He may not be my favorite of the trio but Goddamn does he have son creative ass ideas. Both ideas from Wade, superhugway and transportation were both of my favorite parts of this episode. This is the first episode that actually feels like Distractible. Great episode.
Episode 4: Camping
Ranking: 8/10
Tier Rank: B
Mark preemptively stole the idea of The Distractible Threesome and I want to start a petition to get him kicked from this podcast. Such unoriginality should not be accepted in such a prestigious institution (he’s so unoriginal that he’s making a movie based off of a preexisting game, jeez). But seriously I just think it’s funny Mark mentioned an episode idea that he never got to do as the episode host (which I believe was Wade). The “Aw gee-whiz, Wade, what have you gotten yourself into this time” does make me cringe pretty hard. The nobody laughing part that Bob points out makes it so much better. I love the use of vocal effects on Bob’s title “Out of the River and Into the Axe Murder’s Den”. The Morbid Mysteries of the Missing Millennium bit is always welcome. I agree with Mark has NO limits. I relate a HEAVILY to Bob’s camping story. I have a group of 3 other guys who have been my best friends since middle school. 2 of the guys in the group are Eagle Scouts and would invite me and the other normie friend on some of their camp outs. One camping trip we camped outside of the Scout Master’s backyard where he had tons of land and a swampy lake. There was this one younger kid in the Scouts that got dared to eat a handful of black goooy algae. He did that like 5 different time throughout the day. The camp out consisted of us hanging out at the lake ALL day. It was cloudy that day so none of us used sunscreen (not recommended) and I ended up getting the worst sunburn on my entire backside. There were a couple of canoes that the entire troop played around with and we would knock each other off or try to submerge the upside ones with us in them to trap the air to see how longe we could stay underwater. You know, dumb boy stuff. We ended up having to sleep in my friends truck because it ended up raining really bad that night and the tent that all of us were staying in was getting flooded. The 2 Eagle Scouts friends slept in the front seats, I slept in back seats and one of my friends brothers slept on the back seat floorboards. I couldn’t fall asleep because the window where my head was was cracked open and the rain kept dripping in my back. I don’t think any of the 4 of us slept at all that night. Great memories. There are many other camping stories we have together but I’ll save that for another day. The axe murderer career day but was funny. This is an episode I appreciate for the personal relatability I get from Bob’s story. At this point in the Distractible Episodic Extended Universe you can really feel Mark, Bob and Wade take further strides to make Distractible feel like Distractible as we know it today.
Episode 5: Fake Tech
Ranking: 7.5/10
Tier Rank: C
I love how Mark is the first one to mention hosts can’t declare themselves the winner. That rule will definitely NEVER get broken, especially by Mark himself. George Washington cut down a CHERRY TREE, Wade. Imagine thinking it was an apple tree. Couldn’t be me. Wade’s “WHERE DO BONERS COME FROM???”, echos in my mind daily. Leave it to Distractable to talk about balls for the first 8 minutes. Every time I hear Wade say “Juicero, Juicero, where for art thou apples”, I die a little inside. Wade describing a blender as a “knife pitcher”, also makes me die inside. I agree with Mark that juicing (outside of dietary restrictions) is completely useless. Wade’s yo mama joke getting shut down makes me feel bad for Wade 😂. The background getting louder and louder the going away when Wade says “silence it”, when describing the S.T.F.U. gives me chills. The way the boys related the juicing bit and the S.T.F.U. bit was fun to listen to. This isn’t really an episode I seek out to relisten to, this is more of one I’d put on in the background just to have noise in my head to help me focus on a task. I do like the part where they’re reminiscing about technology. If I had to pick the first technologic thing to be enamored by was the Wii. As someone who was born in 2004 I grew up around computer being competent and my dad had a PS2. So video games as a concept has always been something that just always was. But the first time I got my hands on a Wiimote and was messing around in Mii Maker actually being able to point the Wiimote at the TV to toggle the settings on and off, it blew my mind. I never knew technology could be so cool. Needless to say, Wii Sports was my childhood. Also, Mark winning by 250,000 points is absolutely hilarious.
Episode 6: Supernatural
Ranking: 9/10
Tier Rank: A
“Seasons Don’t Feat the Reaper, They Fear the Titties”. What a common Bob W. As a cultured man myself, this is one of the best story titles of all Distractible history. Bob’s ability to tell an impersonal story from someone else’s perspective and tell it like it’s his own astounds me. I truly thought the Hantu Tetek was really something Bob’s parent did to him the first time I heard it. Also, all of the funny boob pun’s were the best part of this entire episode. Mark talking about the horrors of boners will always be hilarious. I think both “perplexed penis” and “confused cock” should’ve gotten some sort of recognition ratter than being complete ignored. However. I don’t know what it is with Wade’s story, but I just don’t like it. Maybe it’s the way he explained it, but I am also in agreement with Bob that this story sound completely fabricated. It’s really disappointing how disappointing Wade’s story was compared to Bob’s. Especially when he tries to describe the woman in detail it really did sound like he was just making it up. Not saying it’s absolutely fact that it’s fake, it’s just a gut feeling. “Wade winning was winevitable”, was absolutely hilarious and I’d say ALMOST warranted Wade winning. Honesty would’ve been a 10/10 episode with the Hantu Tetek story alone but Wade’s story was just that awkward to me.
Episode 7: Bob’s Fridge
Ranking: 10/10
Tier Rank: S
This really is Wade’s best episode. Can’t believe he peaked so early. Honestly tho, what else could I say about Bob’s fridge? This shit is funny. Honestly this was the first episode to convince me that this podcast was really worth checking in once (now twice) a week. Again, Bob’s story telling is just top notch, I would say he’s the best story teller of the group. This episode is what I like most about Distractible, the stories that are relayed through these 3 idiots is what keeps me as a watch listener captivated. This is the first episode that I would say is pure gold and it set a high bar for future episodes to come. Also, side tangent, the guys are always alluding to doing a golf rules episode, completely forgetting that Bob won this episode because of golf rules. Guess this guys ARE getting older.
I’ve been listening to Distractible almost daily for around 4 years now and I kinda just want to give my own thoughts and feelings about each episode and discuss with others about their thoughts and feelings about each episode.
Just gonna re-listen to every distractible episode starting with Hair and going all the way to current day. I don’t have a set amount of episodes I’m doing a day and I don’t have set days I’ll go through each episode, so apologies if I miss a day.
I’ll list each episode in numerical order giving each episode a number ranking (on a scale of 1-10) AND a letter ranking (as if it’s on a tier list on a scale of F-S) while also giving a brief summary of how I felt and why I ranked it the way I did.
Just for full transparency:
F = 0-4.5/10 D = 5-6.5/10 C = 7-7.5/10 B = 8-8.5/10 A = 9-9.5/10 S = 10/10
I only work in 0.5 increments for simplicity sake. I do it like that so I don’t have to worry about rounding up or down. A 7.5/10 could either mean barely better than a 7/10 but not quite 8/10 or just being barely worse than an 8/10 but not worse enough to be a 7/10. The placement of each ranking in the tier list will be based on this rating scale and will completely be up to subjective feeling.
I will not talk about the points-giving or recap the points given mainly because I don’t care enough to try to keep track of it. I will only mention a co-host’s winning when I feel someone either lost or won unfairly.
All of what I am reviewing and ranking is completely my own subjective opinion, feel free to disagree and comment about how you feel about the episode and hopefully we can have nice peaceful productive conversations about the greatest podcast to ever podcast.
Episode 1: Hair
Rank: 7/10
Tier Rank: C
I mean, it’s the first episode. It’s the first episode I listened to. God, I remember exactly where I was when I listened to Distractable for the first time. It was my senior year while I was working at my part-time retail job (where Distractable became the only way I could dissociate enough to get through the day-to-day tasks) that I worked at for 3 years. There are some awkward silent moments that don’t take away from the episode but adds to the charm of the earlier episodes. It surprised me how quiet this episode can feel at times while also enamored by how in-depth some of the sound design is. Makes sense since there is no video to watch (not that I usually actually watch the current episodes anyway) but it’s still interesting to see how they used to do it. I do also have to mention how some of the old ads are ingrained into the episodes themselves preserving some of the funniest podcast ads I’ve ever heard. They also have regular Spotify ads on top of the ads in the episode so it is a little annoying having to sit through 2 sets of ads but, like I said before, it kinda adds to the charm. Kinda makes me miss the simpler times. I don’t really come back to this episode because of the topic, but I always laugh at Wade’s “Dude! Can’t wait to change scalps with you, dude!”, and love the talks about the teratomas, pubiaries and Herm statues. Not the best first episode to ever be created but a first episode nonetheless. Still waiting for the Distractible Herms merch.
Episode 2: Body Odor
Rank: 7.5/10
Tier Rank: C
Of course only someone as hugely penised and enormously testicled as Mark could be the first Distractible winner! It at least gives him something to brag about (which I bet he does in future episodes). God, remember when they titled shit? Strange time we be in. A part of me is kinda glad they don’t do it anymore (some of the titles are just so cringe it hurts) but a part of me misses them. Trying to visualize Bob’s Axe Body Spray ferrets are absolutely terrifying and Wade’s “enhanced” corpse filled ferret system is even worse. Wade’s 6th sense always gets a chuckle outta me. I am under the opinion that they should’ve changed the Distractible logo long ago. The terroristic parachuting stink clowns are such an early iconic bit it baffles be how they’re not on the logo. I miss when Wade was his own worst competitor begging for his points to be taken away. I have to thank Distractible for being the reason I know the “gay bomb” was at least something that was proposed for war. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the episode titled “Body Odor” talked about farts to an extent but man do they talk about liking their own farts for longer than o remember they did. Those one-liners did suck tho. Not an episode I come back to often, but it is a good progression from the first.
Episode 3: Transportation
Ranking: 8.5/10
Tier Rank: B
Man, this episode opens strong! Opens with a Wade self deprecating banger. Love talking about those dadless freaks (couldn’t be me). I love how Wade actually forgot BBC Wade and to my recent memory never did BBC Wade on the podcast since. Oh yes, Marks wonderful intros. SONIC CUM DIMENSION MENTIONED, LET’S GOOO (I love this bit). God, Mark really has been talking about filming something this entire time. They were still FILMING The Edge of Sleep during this episode. Wade STILL doesn’t have a car. The information superhugway was a terrifying yet amazing idea that I’m disappointed in humanity that it isn’t a real thing. I quote Wade’s “Sir… there’s 5 hearts and no penis…” more than I’d like to admit. Funline Airlines is cool concept, sucks that Mark stole it from himself. That 5-point reduction to Wade was completely unfair 😤. Wade really is the creative thinker of the group. He may not be my favorite of the trio but Goddamn does he have son creative ass ideas. Both ideas from Wade, superhugway and transportation were both of my favorite parts of this episode. This is the first episode that actually feels like Distractible. Great episode.
Episode 4: Camping
Ranking: 8/10
Tier Rank: B
Mark preemptively stole the idea of The Distractible Threesome and I want to start a petition to get him kicked from this podcast. Such unoriginality should not be accepted in such a prestigious institution (he’s so unoriginal that he’s making a movie based off of a preexisting game, jeez). But seriously I just think it’s funny Mark mentioned an episode idea that he never got to do as the episode host (which I believe was Wade). The “Aw gee-whiz, Wade, what have you gotten yourself into this time” does make me cringe pretty hard. The nobody laughing part that Bob points out makes it so much better. I love the use of vocal effects on Bob’s title “Out of the River and Into the Axe Murder’s Den”. The Morbid Mysteries of the Missing Millennium bit is always welcome. I agree with Mark has NO limits. I relate a HEAVILY to Bob’s camping story. I have a group of 3 other guys who have been my best friends since middle school. 2 of the guys in the group are Eagle Scouts and would invite me and the other normie friend on some of their camp outs. One camping trip we camped outside of the Scout Master’s backyard where he had tons of land and a swampy lake. There was this one younger kid in the Scouts that got dared to eat a handful of black goooy algae. He did that like 5 different time throughout the day. The camp out consisted of us hanging out at the lake ALL day. It was cloudy that day so none of us used sunscreen (not recommended) and I ended up getting the worst sunburn on my entire backside. There were a couple of canoes that the entire troop played around with and we would knock each other off or try to submerge the upside ones with us in them to trap the air to see how longe we could stay underwater. You know, dumb boy stuff. We ended up having to sleep in my friends truck because it ended up raining really bad that night and the tent that all of us were staying in was getting flooded. The 2 Eagle Scouts friends slept in the front seats, I slept in back seats and one of my friends brothers slept on the back seat floorboards. I couldn’t fall asleep because the window where my head was was cracked open and the rain kept dripping in my back. I don’t think any of the 4 of us slept at all that night. Great memories. There are many other camping stories we have together but I’ll save that for another day. The axe murderer career day but was funny. This is an episode I appreciate for the personal relatability I get from Bob’s story. At this point in the Distractible Episodic Extended Universe you can really feel Mark, Bob and Wade take further strides to make Distractible feel like Distractible as we know it today.
Episode 5: Fake Tech
Ranking: 7.5/10
Tier Rank: C
I love how Mark is the first one to mention hosts can’t declare themselves the winner. That rule will definitely NEVER get broken, especially by Mark himself. George Washington cut down a CHERRY TREE, Wade. Imagine thinking it was an apple tree. Couldn’t be me. Wade’s “WHERE DO BONERS COME FROM???”, echos in my mind daily. Leave it to Distractable to talk about balls for the first 8 minutes. Every time I hear Wade say “Juicero, Juicero, where for art thou apples”, I die a little inside. Wade describing a blender as a “knife pitcher”, also makes me die inside. I agree with Mark that juicing (outside of dietary restrictions) is completely useless. Wade’s yo mama joke getting shut down makes me feel bad for Wade 😂. The background getting louder and louder the going away when Wade says “silence it”, when describing the S.T.F.U. gives me chills. The way the boys related the juicing bit and the S.T.F.U. bit was fun to listen to. This isn’t really an episode I seek out to relisten to, this is more of one I’d put on in the background just to have noise in my head to help me focus on a task. I do like the part where they’re reminiscing about technology. If I had to pick the first technologic thing to be enamored by was the Wii. As someone who was born in 2004 I grew up around computer being competent and my dad had a PS2. So video games as a concept has always been something that just always was. But the first time I got my hands on a Wiimote and was messing around in Mii Maker actually being able to point the Wiimote at the TV to toggle the settings on and off, it blew my mind. I never knew technology could be so cool. Needless to say, Wii Sports was my childhood. Also, Mark winning by 250,000 points is absolutely hilarious.
Episode 6: Supernatural
Ranking: 9/10
Tier Rank: A
“Seasons Don’t Feat the Reaper, They Fear the Titties”. What a common Bob W. As a cultured man myself, this is one of the best story titles of all Distractible history. Bob’s ability to tell an impersonal story from someone else’s perspective and tell it like it’s his own astounds me. I truly thought the Hantu Tetek was really something Bob’s parent did to him the first time I heard it. Also, all of the funny boob pun’s were the best part of this entire episode. Mark talking about the horrors of boners will always be hilarious. I think both “perplexed penis” and “confused cock” should’ve gotten some sort of recognition ratter than being complete ignored. However. I don’t know what it is with Wade’s story, but I just don’t like it. Maybe it’s the way he explained it, but I am also in agreement with Bob that this story sound completely fabricated. It’s really disappointing how disappointing Wade’s story was compared to Bob’s. Especially when he tries to describe the woman in detail it really did sound like he was just making it up. Not saying it’s absolutely fact that it’s fake, it’s just a gut feeling. “Wade winning was winevitable”, was absolutely hilarious and I’d say ALMOST warranted Wade winning. Honesty would’ve been a 10/10 episode with the Hantu Tetek story alone but Wade’s story was just that awkward to me.
Episode 7: Bob’s Fridge
Ranking: 10/10
Tier Rank: S
This really is Wade’s best episode. Can’t believe he peaked so early. Honestly tho, what else could I say about Bob’s fridge? This shit is funny. Honestly this was the first episode to convince me that this podcast was really worth checking in once (now twice) a week. Again, Bob’s story telling is just top notch, I would say he’s the best story teller of the group. This episode is what I like most about Distractible, the stories that are relayed through these 3 idiots is what keeps me as a watch listener captivated. This is the first episode that I would say is pure gold and it set a high bar for future episodes to come. Also, side tangent, the guys are always alluding to doing a golf rules episode, completely forgetting that Bob won this episode because of golf rules. Guess this guys ARE getting older.