I'm ready to die tbh

I'm about to be vulnerable and complain a little bit. I know no one gives a shit but whatever

Not having a job is killing me. I really wonder what the point to anything is anymore. I can't pay my bills, I can't afford to eat. I'm bored all the time to the point where when I'm not hyper applying for jobs, I'm sleeping because I'm just so bored. It's starting to affect my mental health badly, I have thoughts of not being alive anymore. I woke up this morning and I had negative in my bank account and my first thought was I should just unalive myself. I'm trying so fucking hard to be positive and happy. but there's no point to that anymore. I cant survive let alone do anything fun. I couldn't even go to the movies with my friends a couple weekends ago. I cant afford to do laundry so I've been wearing dirty clothes. My poor dad has been helping me as best he can and I feel like I let him down every time I get a rejection from a job. I'm such a failure, I'm such a loser. I feel all alone in this.

I wish I was dead honestly.

Edit: my bf threatened to leave me and I had a meltdown so 911 was called and now I'm in the hospital waiting for an eval to see if I'm gonna be admitted to the the psych ward