What did I do in life to deserve this?

I'm asking myself this a lot this year. I'm questioning it the most today.

Life is getting so hard to live.

I didn't plan my year to be about bipolar disorder.

I'm trying so hard and all the medicine has failed me so far (I have tried many this year and in the past). The other day I was in the ER for an adverse reaction to a dose increase.

I'm so exhausted and feel so alone. :(