Clean off benzos but permanently damaged?

(Sorry if this is the wrong place but I looked around and this seems like the place to post this)

I was a hardcore benzo user for years from around 2016 to around 2020 beginning of the pandemic. Not trying to bore everyone with my story so to make it short I got into Xanax when it seemed like everyone was on them and they were easy to get. I loved them because it gave me the effects of alcohol without the nasty side affects. But soon a half a xan at a party turns into 2 xans to function everyday then seeking out stronger benzo RCs to keep me afloat.

One arrest and many restless nights later i manage to get clean during lockdown. It's great to be off them and I express support for everyone on their path to recovery. But since being off them it feels like there's a part of me that's missing and I can't get back.

I've been to counseling and therapy tried looking thru the research to find something but nothing can really explain it. I was a pretty anxious person before becoming an addict but now it feels like there's a void where my feelings were. I've struggled to make any deep connections with anyone in the past few years. I tried making new friends and dating but it just doesn't work out so now I hate being in social situations. It just feels like I can't relate to anyone else. I have no passion or longing for anything anymore.

I'm not suicidal I'd say it's more like a constant apathy. If I had any regrets in life it's that I never took those pills. If anyone has experienced this before I'd be happy to know what you are doing to deal with this.