No idea if I’m asexual or not 😭help?

(Will discuss a lot of NSFW so be warned)

Everyone in my life knows me as a more sexual person, you know? Out of my friends, I’m the most experienced when it comes to sexual things, and I’m definitely more sexual when it comes to jokes…so I have nobody irl to talk to about this, because it just wont make sense to them.

I’ve never seen the appeal of naked bodies, really. Never in my life—to either male or female bodies—have I genuinely felt sexually attracted to them. Fat, thin, muscular, curvy, nothing. I’ve genuinely never looked at anyone in porn, or even a partner sending something spicy and genuinely gotten aroused or anything like that. My minds reaction isn’t “damn, hot!!” Instead it’s more of a “that sure is a naked body” and I move on with my day. Never saw the appeal of anything deemed “sexy” or anything.

When I masturbate and fantasize, it’s never about me or thinking of someone else. Honestly, a lot of the times, (and this is a little embarrassing to admit,) I think about characters I like together in that scenario—but it’s not about the sex itself, it’s more of the way they react to each other in my imagination that’s appealing to me. Sometimes, if I’m reading or watching something NSFW, I’ll think “I wish that was me in x position” but I never would actually want it to be me, you know?

Other than masturbating, I don’t really have a sex drive. I’m not on medication or anything that could potentially lower it—like, when my partner asks for sex, I do so to please them. I never actually genuinely crave it or ever feel the genuine need to do it—it’s a nice thing in theory, but in action, I’m never actually into it, really.

I have nobody to talk to about this or ask about, because everyone knows me as very sexually active and generally just a dirty person—but I feel like I’m faking it all, like I’m just doing everything because it needs to be done.

Idk if this is like, normal for allosexuals or if I could be asexual? Or somewhere on the asexual spectrum? Tysm 😭😭