I married my rapist

I just got out. I fled after filing a dvp a few days ago. Downsizing into a tiny 1br apartment. Giving my son the bedroom I’m sleeping in the living room.

I can’t stop thinking about how this man brutally raped me while we were dating, long before we were engaged or married.

I somehow blocked it out after he cried, apologized, said he’d turn himself in, told me he would spend the rest of his life making it up to me.

I find myself more pissed at myself for staying and MARRYING him, than I am pissed at him for doing what he did.