He risked our kids lives to continue fighting with me

TLDR: my husband left our two toddlers in the tub to come downstairs and continue to fight with and berate me. I didnt know they were already in the tub. Now I'm scared he is more unhinged than I thought and worried for all our safety.

Well the almost 1.5 week honeymoon period is over and today my husband picked a fight over the stupidest thing. I was completely blindsided. I moved the dish brush and that deserved being called a hateful bitch and terrible wife. Later in the evening when things calmed down at dinner I made the mistake of accusing him of something (I ended up being wrong about, and later did apologize). He got mad that I was accusing him, took his food and left the table with me and our two toddlers still sitting there. It hurt me to hear my son ask "Where did daddy go?" and "Is daddy angry at me? ". I had to explain that daddy was angry with mommy and just need a break. I proceeded to feed both kids dinner, clear the table, put away the food, start the dishes, fold 2 load of laundry and clean up the kitchen while trying to keep my kids entertained. After about 40 minutes my husband came back down and continued to verbally tear into me, physically get in my face, throw things at me, etc and only snapped out of it when he noticed our 3 year old running around him. He had promised him a bath tonight earlier in the day so he said to be him "okay, are you ready for your bath, let's go up to bathtime." Then turned to me and said "I guess I have to take care of the kids too" He and my 3 year old and 1.5 year old went upstairs. I sat down on the floor just trying to regain my composure and try to make sense of what had just happened. After about 3 minutes my husband came back down alone and said "I'm done for the night you can do the baths. I'm not doing it" I told him "No, you promised our son and I was just getting ready to take the dogs out" He said "Fine, call my bluff we'll see how long it takes the tub to overflow and leak through". Mind you at this point me and him are downstairs and my two toddlers are upstairs in the bathroom completely out of our earshot. I argued with him for 2-3 minutes then had the sickening feeling of what if our 18 month old trys to get in the tub with no one up there and gave in and immediately ran upstairs. Here, I find out he had already undressed both kids and had them in the tub. They had been unsupervised in the tub for 4 minutes in water that was still running and was about 7 inches deep by the time I got up there. I can't believe he didn't tell me they were actually in the tub, I would never leave them alone and wouldn't have been fighting with him if I knew that. We were completely out of earshot if anything had hapoened. I take water safety very seriously. He is now blowing this off. I tried to confront him about it later and asked that he please acknowledge it was a serious safety issue and he threw it back on to me "why are we talking about what I did, why don't we ever talk about what you did (meaning being "mean" to him).

I'm seriously freaking out now. Like having intrusive thoughts of what could have happened, seeing my baby girl drowned. He's willing to sacrifice our kids safety to fight with me and "win the fight " How messed up is that! I've put up with the threats and abuse to me but draw the line when it comes to our kids. I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to tell my therapist and DV victim advocate about it, but this is the military system and if I tell either of them they would rightfully classify it as "child neglect" and be mandated to open an investigation and then I don't know if I would survive. I would seriously worry about my life if I endangered my husband's military career. The only way I've been able to talk about it up to this point is in a restricted sense, meaning the military doesn't open a case but I can still talk and get help for the DV. So I can't talk about it with anyone.

I don't know what I'm posting for. I guess just to share with someone, even if it is just internet strangers, how scary and messed up things have become. I feel so lost and scared. This really makes me think he is mentally unhinged and if he does this what else could and will he do?