Death of an Abusive parent.

Trigger warning: Suicide, emotional and physical abuse.

I’m at a loss as to what to think or do or how to process this.

My abusive father who had not spoken to me for 15 years, killed himself on my birthday. There are two options. One is that he didn’t know it was my birthday, likely as he rarely remembered. OR he knew and I don’t know why he wanted to hurt me.

I’m on an emotional rollercoaster but I’m also not sure. What do I tell my kids? My siblings have had contact even though it was challenging for them, so the suicide and all will come out. I just don’t know what to say to a 7 and 11 year old who didn’t even know him. But they will Hear stories so I need to address it with them.