5 years in and feeling increasingly hopeless about my life. How do you feel alive?

I’ve been hit with the panic of feeling like I can’t do this anymore while simultaneously feeling like I have no other option.

I generally do a pretty good job of keeping myself busy and occupied. I am constantly doing something and keeping myself busy. I just can’t imagine another 5 years of being busy and just surviving. What am I surviving for? I’m 23 now, and have completely missed out on the part of my life that was supposed to be carefree and fun. Making friends, trying new things, travelling, etc.

I’m so tired. Everyday has been the same day for five years with absolutely no end in sight. How are you all feeling alive? I feel like my life ended five years ago and now I’m just sitting around waiting out the clock. I miss the freedom to go out and not have the massive mental load of covid precautions.