I'm so tired of being used

I'm so tired I can't take it anymore. Literally all I ever did was want to be loved and everyone punishes me for it. People promise me love and attention and get me to let my guard down and be open and then they use me for their own disgusting purposes and then leave me after. I can't take it anymore. All I want is love but people keep fucking doing it to me and I'm so tired. I'm so scared of sexual stuff but I have to pretend to like it because no one will love me otherwise. It's been almost 4 years of constantly being used.