I'm just tired of sleeping with men with broken dicks

I'm venting. I know I sound like an asshole in this post and I'm sorry. I'm usually pretty empathetic and I try to be non-judgmental. I certainly would never say any of this to a man's face. But I just need to vent for a second even if it makes me sound like a jerk.

I feel like every man between the ages of 18 and 35 I've ever slept with has broken his dick somehow. Either he has death grip syndrome and can't come during sex with me or he needs me to hold very specific positions and not move at all for upwards of 10 minutes or he's absorbed so many weird porn ideas that he can't get hard if I'm not wearing a full face of make-up and acting like I'm Riley Reid. None of them seem to be able to function with normal, vanilla intimacy.

I thought it was just my ex at first. He could not come during sex. At all. He could come when jerking off, but he only came once during sex with me in two years. And we had sex once or twice a day most days. To his credit he never ever blamed it on me or tried to make me feel bad about it, though I still did.

Guy two could only come if I held my legs up in the air and stayed very still for ages. I could not make any noise and if I moved even an inch he'd lose it and not be able to come. That was *super* fun and I really loved having to hold a very uncomfortable position for ten minutes at a time while the sweat from his forehead dripped into my eyes and mouth because that was the only way he'd ever orgasm!

Guy three would lose his hard-on if I took longer than two seconds to do anything. Switching positions was insanely stressful because I was literally on a clock.

Guy four could only keep it up for super fake porny sex. If I dropped the pornstar act he'd lose his erection.

And guy five, a hook-up I just finished with, can't come. Again.

I'm sorry, I don't expect men to be mindless automatons who can get it up and come on demand. I know sometimes it's just not happening, there's nerves and days where you just don't feel it. We're all humans and you can't script sex to be perfectly choreographed. That's why when this happens I'm polite and supportive and just try to make sure the guy feels comfortable and unjudged. But inside I'm just kinda frustrated because it feels like every man under 35 has death gripped and porn'd himself into erectile dysfunction. Sorry, I know that's mean. I just needed to rant it out somewhere so I don't explode.