Losing weight as an obese woman

I thought I’d come to this thread and maybe find others that were once in my situation or currently in my situation.

As the title says I am an obese woman (330 lbs). I have to accept that if I do not change something soon then it will only get harder as I get older (currently 25F). I want children and I want to be able to keep up with those children.

I think what currently is holding me back is in my grade school days from 6th-12th I used to do wrestling. Whenever I go into a “losing” weight mode I act like I’m back in that time which is an extremely restricted diet. I would allow myself only toast or oatmeal for breakfast (most times I would skip breakfast), drink water throughout the whole day and a granola bar for lunch and for dinner it would be a lightly season chicken breast on top of a salad. Back then this was much easier to maintain but now I will keep this up for a day or two before I raid my whole kitchen. I understand this is disordered eating but I feel like it’s the only way I’ve ever known how to lose weight. It’s hard to find where to start, currently the only small goal I maintain is no drinking soda (still working on cutting back sugar in my coffee) and even still I’m just disappointed and find myself thinking “what’s the point?”

I’m not really looking for an answer or a “fix it all” to my weight losing issue, I just don’t know what are reasonable small goals to pursue, how do I identify dieting vs starving myself. I find myself being so focused on not eating vs the things I am actually eating (processed vs fresh).

I used to do weight watchers at 12/13 and I remember losing 5-7 lbs a week and now I cheer for 1-2 lbs every other week. I guess I just need to change my mind set but it’s hard.

EDIT: I want it to be known that im not looking for medical advice, I have a dietician and have been using my own medical team as a resource. I think I just wanted to vent honestly. I keep dogging on myself in private and it’s just a vicious cycle. I have a therapist of 5 years and a lovely doctor. I am just trying to make note of my feelings, I harbor things internally to a point they boil over, using journals and social media has just been a way of releasing these feelings, even with therapy it’s weird how the mind can work when trying to regulate feelings.

Thanks for all the advice and kind words. I am really hoping this is the start of a new journey, I will continue to only learn more and more about myself :)