I (female) was allowed in the boys locker room in high school

I (currently 35f) attended high school and volunteered for the football team as the “football manager.” The title was different from the “water girls” because I didn’t just deal with water, but helped the coach do other things, wash game day laundry (at the school by myself on a Saturday), help organize the equipment locker room, ensure the players had their proper equipment (pads, helmets, etc), make sure players followed up with our first aid coach and iced/dealt with any injuries. I make the distinction in roles because the head coach was adamant that there were only two football managers (me and another girl) who could go through the locker room, but not the water girls. In fact he expressly told me that one particular water girl was NOT allowed in the locker room even when handing out equipment, and no shame to her but she was very very boy focused. This was a relatively new high school so some rules just weren’t established. I grew close to all the coaches and would sometimes help them with tasks they needed help with for their classes. And this wasn’t limited to just the football coaches but a track and basketball coach as well, because not only did I do all that and more, I also took a weight lifting class that was almost exclusively taken by athletes. Anyways there is something that’s bothered me for years and only now do I fully recognize the implications of it. The time frame for this story was between 2005-2008, and I was dating one of the football players and I believe that, and my maturity level was a big reason I was allowed so much “freedom”.

The equipment room for everything was through the boys locker room, also inside of the locker room was a generic coach’s office. So between needing to unlock the door to the equipment room from the inside (to bring in the water jugs each day before and after practice), dealing with equipment, and discussing things with coaches I was in the boys locker room on at least a weekly but most often a daily basis. I never cared about what I saw in the locker room, mostly because I was dating one of the players and outside of one player who was unbelievably cocky most of the guys saw me as a sister and didn’t make comments. I did see my fair share of semi-naked, and naked teenage boys, a lot of that towel thing where you snap it at another person, and I heard tons of very teenage boy stuff, but again I was very focused on the task I was doing and only had eyes for my boyfriend. My parents were also a firefighter/fire marshal and EMT and I had been raised going to the fire house all the time and was just comfortable around males in general*.

However, I now recognize how irresponsible that was of the coaching staff, it put an entire team (60+) of football players, plus players of other sports in such an awkward situation. I think back now and wonder if (but can almost guarantee) that there had to be some of those boys who weren’t happy to have a teenage girl walking through while they were changing or showering. Plus a situation could have happened that could have been dangerous for me. Anyways I just wanted to get this off my chest, I feel guilt but know I was just a teenager and didn’t understand the implications of what I was being asked to do.

*I want to clarify that nothing like the locker room situation ever happened at the fire house, the only crazy story I have from there is finding a loaded gun without a lock in the back of the on-call van where my parent kept a coloring book and crayons for when I had to go on calls.