Im leaving my boyfriend over a prank.

I'm still shaken up a bit shaken up so if this doesn't make much sense I apologize. TW for suicide

I (18f) have been with my boyfriend (20m) for almost two years. I moved in with him last August, and things have been pretty rocky.

My whole life I've struggled with my mental health, specifically depression, anxiety, and self harm (I've been clean for a while though). I also have a history of trauma, but I dont need to get into that. I made sure my boyfriend knew this when we started dating, because I wanted him to be able to nope out of the relationship if that was too much for him to deal with. He assured me it wasn't an issue.

He never seemed to really "get" the whole mental health thing though. He would make comments saying stuff like depression is just "spicy sad" and people with trauma should just get over it (he also thinks that only veterans can get PTSD). I've tried explaining things to him but he just brushes me off, so I do the best to ignore him.

Recently he started watching couple prank channels on YouTube, and he started pranking me. At first it was just small things like putting way too much flavor in my water, or salt in a bite of my food. I laughed it off, it didn't really bother me. But then he started jumping out and scaring me. That kind of stuff really affects me sometimes because of my PTSD, and I tried to explain that to him. He would apologize but do it again the next day. I was getting annoyed and frustrated, but I tried to let it be.

Things escalated when last week when he put some noise makers under the toilet seat in the middle of the night. I woke up to go to the bathroom and sat down, BOOM. It being late at night, me being half awake, and the loud noise all mixed together and gave me a full blown panic attack. I was on the bathroom floor crying and having flashbacks. after I don't know how long I stopped crying and was just staring into space, having flashbacks. He came in because I guess he noticed I was gone for a while. When he saw me sitting on the floor he remembered his little "prank" and started laughing. I just stared at him for a second, got up and called him an ass. I slept in the living room the rest of the night.

The next day I sat him down and I told him he can NOT keep scaring me like this. No more jumping out at me, no more loud noises. He pretty much sighed and rolled his eyes, but he said he would stop.

Everything was fine for a week, I thought this whole "prank" thing was finally over.

Yesterday I got home from being out with a friend, actually feeling better for the first time in a while. When I walked in the house all the lights were off, so I assumed he was still at work, which isn't abnormal because sometimes he works late. I plug my phone in because it died on my way back home, and when it powered on I got a notification that he sent me a text. It just read "so sorry, I love you". I replied saying it's okay, I'll see you when you get home, love you. And I heard his phone ding in the bathroom. That was weird I thought.

I got up to go get his phone and when I got into the bathroom I saw him laying in the bathtub. The bath was full of water, there was an empty bottle of pills on the sink, and he was covered in blood. His wrists were cut and there was just, so much blood.

My heart just, sank. I started having a panic attack. I was hyperventilating, crying, and I was just frozen. After a minute I ran to the living room to get my phone to call 911, and I hear splashing and then laughter. I turned around to see him standing in the hallway just laughing. He said he "got me" and I should have seen the look on my face.

I don't even know how to describe the feelings I was experiencing. I was so mad and sad and scared. I didn't even say anything, I just walked out of the house. I just kept walking and eventually I figured I needed to call my friend to come get me. At first I didn't tell her what happened I just told her I needed her to come get me it was an emergency. She came and took me back to her house where I'm at now. My boyfriend keeps calling me and he sent me some texts saying he was sorry and it was just a joke, and I'm over reacting and I need to come home. I'm not answering. I don't even know what I would say to him.

My friend is going over to his house tomorrow to get my things when hes at work. She said I can stay with her however long I need. I don't know what I'm going to do. I just feel numb.