Trump Just Screwed the Crypto Bros and Tanked the Stock Market at the Same Time

Donald Trump just pulled off a rare feat—convincing the crypto world he’s their savior while simultaneously sending Wall Street into a panic. The man went to the crypto guys, sold them a dream, and somehow, against all logic, people actually believed him. For a moment, it looked like he might shake up the economy in a big way. But instead, his obsession with tariffs and mass deportations is already backfiring. The numbers don’t lie—his economic agenda isn’t working, and now, even Wall Street is betting against its own economy.

And because Trump operates on a strict policy of never taking responsibility for anything, he’s going to blame all of this on Biden. That’s his go-to move. He could crash a car into a wall and still find a way to say Biden was behind the wheel.

Now, he’s decided to punish the European Union too—because why not make things worse? Fun fact for his supporters: American cars aren’t even designed for European roads. Ever tried squeezing a full-size F-150 through the streets of Paris? Ford literally has a European division that makes smaller cars for that exact reason. His plan makes zero sense, like most of his economic ideas.

The funniest part? If he screws over his own base hard enough, they’ll turn on him faster than he can say witch hunt. The only reason he gets away with this is that America’s political system makes it painfully hard to remove a sitting president. In the UK, if the Prime Minister is failing, they don’t wait—they kick him out and elect someone new.

This is why people running for president should at least have some actual experience in public office. Otherwise, you get a guy who runs the country like a bad reality show, makes up the rules as he goes, and then acts shocked when it all goes to hell.