Why me?

I was supposed to be beautiful. Amazing. People would've looked at me and seen hope. Seen a person who's shoulder they could lean on. And now I just feel worthless, broken, like the world would be better off without me.

Sometimes I question why I was even born in the first place, because I'm a waste of space. A waste of oxygen, and a waste of a human being.

Everything just keeps falling apart. My family... I hate them so much. They've caused everything to go wrong. I feel like I'm being left behind by all my friends, and that I have no one to lean on, even though I do. And the person who I care for the most is out of my reach, and I can't do anything to save myself.

I don't think anyone even cares for me online either. Even if they say they do, they're lying. They're all lying. Because who could ever love or care someone like me? Who could love or care for someone who's so flawed, that not even they can save themselves?

No one.

I've dug myself a hole so deep that I can't get out of it. That no one could pull me out of the pit. The darkness consumes all that journey too far, after all.

And everyone else is so far ahead that they don't look back at me, who's still so far behind everyone else. Who's still picking up the pieces of the life he broke, that he shattered. He might keep going, even if it hurts, but what's the point? It's useless. He can't make an impact on the world.

And so he just wishes to quietly disappear, or just hurt himself.

I wish it was someone else and not me.

I wish I could crawl out of my own skin and be someone else, have a better life.

But no matter where I go, no matter how I hard I try to be happy, I can't escape. I can't escape the hopelessness I feel.

Why me?