You may be possessed by Satan

Hi everyone, I want to let you know that there may be another cause of your SIBO that the biased medical establishment doesn't want you to know about: demonic possession.

I recently saw a doctor [1] who diagnosed me with possession. This makes sense because I often have visions of destruction and I am compelled to do evil things, such as eat the last slice of pizza. He says this could easily be causing my SIBO, because the Bible tells us that Satan hates motility. I've started on a three-month holy-water diet. I'm already feeling better, I'm sure this will help. I'll let you know how it goes! [2]

Everyone, please get tested! Better to be safe than sorry. [3]

[1]: Doctor in Theology

[2]: I will never follow up and I will never respond to any messages.

[3]: This is obviously satire, in an attempt to point out some of the ridiculous and scientifically unsupported claims made in this sub.