My 3 year old refuses calming techniques

My 3.5 year old daughter has VERY big feelings. She is an only child yet our house is full of noise. Her reactions to anything she doesn’t like or want in that moment results in loud screeching. There is so much screeching, whining and crying on a good day. Often these tantrums are upstairs brain tantrums that can stop in an instant if ignored or if she gets what she wants.

It’s been worse the last few days. We had 6 family members who were evacuated stay with us. During their stay they found out that their house burned down. It was an emotional time for everyone. My daughter couldn’t handle the amount of people in our home and the changes. We had a few talks with her alone explaining the situation in an age appropriate way. She had several screeching tantrums throughout those days which added to everyone’s anxiety. She only wanted to be with me, her father or grandmother. She played a little bit with her cousin (8) but the parent wanted her close by for emotional support so the playing was brief.

One day, she ran to her room and said she wanted to be alone. I totally understand because I’m an introvert so it was a lot of people in our space suddenly. The relatives staying with us have left to stay with other friends and family. However she’s still a bit overstimulated.

We can’t play outside because the air quality is horrible. I played with her indoors a few times but that didn’t seem to stave off her clinginess. I tell her to do belly breathing with me to calm down and she says no every time. I tried to do a yoga card on her Yoto and even a movement video on YouTube. She wanted none of it. And try to read a book with her and she refuses. She refuses food unless it’s sweets. I can tell that her behavior results from hunger or lack of sleep. There’s so much resistance to both of those things. At that point every little thing sets her off into a tantrum. It’s like she’d rather just be fussy than do something about to calm down. We go through this everyday. And with family here it was even worse.

How do I get her to calm down? I’ve invested so much in books and Yoto cards etc. Yet she flat out refuses to do those calm down techniques and simply listen. It’s been rough ever since she turned 18 months.

Edit Update: Thank you all for your input! Like I mentioned the relatives left so we spent the next day as a reset day for all of us. My preschooler started a painting class at our local recreation center. She really enjoyed the calming corner set up that the teacher had. There was a menu of calming techniques on the wall for her to choose from which she seemed interested in. I think I will be updating her calm corner so that she can choose for herself. I also will be using many of the suggestions from this thread. And of course give it time.