Breakup

I broke up with my long term boyfriend almost a month ago because he wasn’t taking care of his mental health and was refusing to seek help. We both still love each other and it was heartbreaking to do. Neither of us wanted to separate as we felt like God had brought us together, but I feel in my heart that God is telling me this is a season of waiting and we need to work on ourselves. I feel that I’m being told this isn’t the end, but I’m having trouble surrendering God taking control over the outcome and me not becoming a helper like I always am. We used to be routed in Christ when we started dating around 18/19, but drew further away as we got into our mid to later 20s.

I need prayer that I will continue to surrender this at the feet of Jesus. All I want to do is talk to him, but God is telling me to be patient. I need prayer in trusting God and giving my anxieties to him. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and I need strength. I need to focus on Jesus right now and not the outcome. For my heart wants to plan and feels what God might be telling me, but I need to focus on his promises and who he is. I want him to take my fears under his wings and show me the way.

Please pray for him too. He’s lost in life right now and deep in depression and trauma. He doesn’t know what he wants to do in life and feels deep pain. I’m giving him up to the Lord, but I need help in prayers for him. I pray that his heart will change for the better and he will realize and become the man that God wants him to be. As much as I want him to come back and pursue me, I want God’s timing more.

And pray that his timing will be good. Things were left in a confusing way and I’m trying to understand it all. We still have things to talk about and not solving these things now makes me anxious. I want to solve this problem and strengthen our relationship, but I need to surrender it to God. It’s a daily struggle for me. I want God’s will in this situation. I want the patience he is telling me to have.

I want a butterfly. I want to let the chrysalis develop into a beautiful butterfly instead of cutting it open and getting a dead caterpillar.