How much time should a parent be playing with the toddlers?

Hi redditors, just share what you do, what you think it should be done, what in theory should be done.

It might sound like a silly question and topic, but because of my first son, it is making me question the correctness of my beahaviour and sometimes leading me to great frustration and to guilt feelings.

I do play with my kids, also for long periods. We do it at home and we do it in the playgrounds and I enjoy it. Thing is that my firt kid, almost 4 years old, seems uncapable to play alone, will try to involve me or at least to catch my attention every single momemt, making literally impossible for me to distract a second, regardless of if I want to write this reddit (he is now walking over me and serving me food toys) or have to prepare dinner. He would climb over me, tear the pages of my book, try to steal my phone, press the keys of my laptop.

It is very hard to communicate with him (at the point that we suspect a certain degree of neurodivergence, he is also behind in many things), he won't even look at you if you try to explain you have something else to do. Shamefully, sometimes I loose it and shout and this breaks him.

I do not exagerate if I say that it is couple of years that if he is at home and my wife is not I can't even shave - and viceversa.

I understand that mine might be a special situation, but tell me please what you would do and what would be the normality in a regular context.