Just talking about a childhood sexual assault stuff...

I've been sexually assaulted in my childhood. I was 12 at that time. I am 17 now. And the whole village (other boys of my similar age group or two three years older) called me by the name of "[PERSON WHO ASSAULTED ME] ka bacha". And called me by his name. Mocking me. Etc.

And I've been so embarrassed about it that I didn't even talk about this to anyone. I don't trust anyone tbh. Even though I am 17 now, I am scared of men and even people who are like 5-7 years older than me. I was then an open person, who likes to make friends. But now I struggle to talk to people. I have become an introverted guy. And it has fucked up my mind.

And the shittiest thing is, that guy was our neighbor. And he was like 19 at the time. And he still stalks me to this day. Messaging me from different numbers, even though I have blocked all one by one but that son of a bitch still annoys me and say things like please maaf krdo tumhary baghair raha ni jata like wtf dude, I am not your wife. I would have just murdered him by now if I wasn't worried about spending life in hell for eternity.

And yes I am embarrassed talking about this to anyone else. Haven't even told my parents about this. And it so fucking annoys me mentally even to this day 😭

PS: Posted this as a comment and I just thought about also posting it here. Only looking for some kind words tbh. Or maybe help me a little? How could I stop that fucking son of a motherfucker so he don't contact me? I've made this clear a million times that I don't want him near me. I wish I could just kill him so I could live a good life. Or maybe break his legs or something like this.