Just really weird feeling.

Maybe it’s not unique to only children and I find this hard to articulate but I feel very passive in life. I have a lot of great friends, relationships have never been an issue, some extended family that are close and care about me, graduated law school but really just stuck in what and who I am. All my life I craved peace. My parents for most of the time I’ve been alive I’m 25 they are early 60s has been very volatile and toxic and I’ve served as sorta their psychologist. As a result while I do have stress like I don’t have a job I rarely ever let anything damper my mood. In fact most of the time people describe as very passive. This passivity has bled into relationships to a detriment but even my own life I have wants but they feel like no purpose because I’ve neglected any sort of my own emotions to ensure peace in the household. As a result my friends relationships I speak my mind but other than that I’m a nice again passive. I feel scared when my parents are no longer here I will not have drive to do anything because this peace that I do crave has been extinguished. Weird and maybe not the most coherent but yea.