i dont know what to feel

i (18f) and my boyfriend (21m) have been dating for almost a year. yesterday i went to his place to smoke 🍃, we do this a lot together. anyways we both got really high and since i was sleep deprived i slept almost immediately. the next thing i remember is waking up to me getting penetrated and i froze i wanted to say something but i felt like i have no energy i just layer there and tried to focus on my breathing as that felt like a task itself, finally i gathering enough energy to cry, i started crying and begging to stop he finally heard it after what i felt like and entirety and realised what he has done and started apologising saying i didn’t knew what i was doing. i was feeling a sharp pain in my privates and went to the washroom, that’s where i say it, blood everywhere on my legs blood dripping down my leg and i knew it wasn’t my periods because they just ended a few days ago. i was so scared i didn’t knew what to do and i was still kinda high i fixed myself up and booked a cab from inside the washroom only i went out and i saw him all paranoid i felt so bad and said don’t worry i need to go home we will not talk about it and that it’s not his fault to make him stop apologising over and over. when i reached home i when straight to bed and slept because i didn’t have the mental and physically energy to do anything. i just woke up and i don’t know what to do i don’t know what to feel i feel like he was too high and didn’t knew what he was doing but i still feel disgusted i feel like i should have done something right away i feel dirty i feel angry on myself for not screaming help pls