Just a random guy on the Frankston line

this is a real story from last year, sorry for the long post

Man: --gets on the down Frankston train at Richmond after an AFL game at the MCG--

--doors close--

--now arriving at South Yarra..--

Man: --presses emergency button--

beep... beep... beep...

Driver: hello, how can i help?

Man: hello, i wish to express a concern about the tropical climate aboard this train

Driver: yes, what about it?

Man: see, i'm coming home from a game at The G, right? and.. it's a cool winter day, nice cold temperatures, very good.

Driver: o..kay?

Man: yea, and then i get on the train and suddenly i get hit with the tropical climate in here! that's not good enough!

Driver: right, sorry about that

Man: so is there a way i can open the windows on this train? i can't take this anymore

Driver: there is not

Man: bloody hell!

--communication with driver is cut off--

--a few minutes later, the man presses the button again--

Driver: hello, what's up?

Man: i wish to complain about the tropical climate aboard this train

--and repeat--

--later, at Malvern--

Man: are there any rats on board this train?

--erm...--

(Other) Man beside us: not that im aware of, but if we see one we'll let you know

Man: okay, cheers mate

--the man gets off at Caulfield--