I need advice

So I have a gf and we’ve been together for about a year and a half now.

For context: We use to fight a lot in the beginning and it’s gradually gotten better but because of how rough the beginning of our relationship was it’s made both of us tired of the fighting now.

We’ve recently both discussed breaking up and going our separate ways but is something we both feel reluctant to do. And the end of that conversation ended with us deciding to stay together and that we would end it on the conditional that if she were not to get a return offer we would break up to avoid a LDR. But would see where things go if she were to stay.

My problem is with a few things she said during that conversation (which I won’t get into) and those problems made me want to try explain how I felt with the goal of being understood. Having my message understood has been a reoccurring issue as well.

Basically what I told her was “I don’t want to break up with you, but I don’t like how we decided that our deal breaker is going to be something like distance, because we’re being indecisive/and we’re scared of being alone again. I want to be with you because I love you and I want someone to grow old with not because you got the job and will stay here so it’s still convenient, does that make sense?”

And she told me it doesn’t and that is this my way of saying I want to just break up. I just want to find a way to convey what I feel in a way she understands. Like even if we are going to break up. I want her to be able to understand why.

Is there something I’m missing? Or maybe is her brain wired different from me, so I need to explain my pov on things differently? I’ve tired my best to make things clear but maybe I’m just too close to this to see what the problem is.

Any help or advice would be appreciated :)